At this point I get out of breath just walking to the bathroom. I'm not sure if I can keep on living independently so I'm looking into homecare. I saw my oncologist earlier this week and she was pessimistic about my long term survival. That was a depressing thought until I remembered one time she brought the whole family into her office to tell us that i had about 1 to 5 years to go. That was 8 years ago. A month ago I had asked my pulmonologist, Dr. Begnaud, and she said she couldn't tell; but then Dr. Begnaud doesn't usually like to commit herself.

So now I'm not sure what to believe. Four years ago I wrote

In my life I've traveled to four continents. I've seen performances by legendary musicians from Segovia to Johnny Rotten.  I've read thousands of books. I was in New York in 1969 the day the Mets won the World Series and the City erupted with joy. Most marvelous of all, I lived in Minneapolis in the 1980's when every week fresh and exciting artists would seem to emerge from  basements and garages. I've written 4 books of poetry and one was actually published. I got a grant from the Jerome Foundation and made a video. I've acted in Shakespeare on stage and I've fought the police in the streets. I've partied with the Hell's Angels and tutored 3rd graders to read. I taught French at the University. I've seen the rings of Saturn thru a telescope and watched whales spouting off the coast of Newfoundland. At the age of 65 I started my own rock band. These days I go to Paris and hang out with jazz musicians.

I've had more fun than anyone has a right to; so I'll keep on enjoying as much as I can for as long as I can. No complaints.